"He’s a kind of Jack of all trades, mostly I think he’s a chimney sweep though. There’s nothing really mysterious about Bert except that he seems to be the only one who knows Mary Poppins. And Bert himself, chose he has the secret of heppiness, what life is about. He has no interest in material things and kind of a philosophy of his own which is basic and at the same time profound." - Dick Van Dyke on Bert (1964)
When the day is gray and ordinary,
Mary makes the sun shine bright
She: I will never have what Mary Poppins had. I want her sixteen-inch waist. Like Dita Von Teese.
Me: You have a very small waist.
She: It's twenty-four inches, not sixteen.
Me: I think in order to get a sixteen-inch waist, Dita Von Teese had to have her ribs removed.
She: She didn't have her ribs removed.
Me: Dita Von Ribs didn't have her teets removed?
She: (long pause) She certainly didn't have her teets removed.
She: Dita Von Ribs, coming to a McDonald's near you.