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A conversation with my girlfriend, while Mary Poppins was paused (or: why I can't think and talk good at the same time)

She: I will never have what Mary Poppins had. I want her sixteen-inch waist. Like Dita Von Teese.

Me: You have a very small waist.

She: It's twenty-four inches, not sixteen.

Me: I think in order to get a sixteen-inch waist, Dita Von Teese had to have her ribs removed.

She: She didn't have her ribs removed.

Me: Really?

She: Yeah.

Me: Dita Von Ribs didn't have her teets removed?

She: (long pause) She certainly didn't have her teets removed.

Me: Oh.

She: Dita Von Ribs, coming to a McDonald's near you.